Review: Iron & Velvet (Kate Kane, Paranormal Investigator book 1) by Alexis Hall

The Blurb:

First rule in this line of business: don’t sleep with the client….

My name’s Kate Kane, and when an eight-hundred-year-old vampire prince came to me with a case, I should have told her no. But I’ve always been a sucker for a femme fatale.

It always goes the same way. You move too fast, you get in too deep, and before you know it, someone winds up dead. Last time it was my partner. This time it could be me. Yesterday a werewolf was murdered outside the Velvet, the night-time playground of one of the most powerful vampires in England. Now half the monsters in London are at each other’s throats, and the other half are trying to get in my pants. The Witch Queen will protect her own, the wolves are out for vengeance, and the vampires are out for, y’know, blood.

I’ve got a killer on the loose, a war on the horizon, and a scotch on the rocks. It’s going to be an interesting day.

The Stats:

The Review:

What an absolutely delightful sweet read about fluffy pink kittens and puppies. I particularly liked when…

What’s that?

Wrong book, you say?

Oh.

Right.

The paranormal one. The one that squicked me out but also had me laughing my ass off.

Iron and Velvet (Kate Kane Paranormal Investigator)

Kate Kane…GREAT name for a heroine.

Soo…this isn’t the first time I’ve said that I don’t normally read paranormal. I keep saying that so apparently I’m a lying McLiar face.

In my defense. I really, really, really, really like Alexis Hall’s writing (and the other authors whose paranormals I’ve read). I just needed an Alexis fix right about now. So, I sucked up my fears, anxieties, and prejudices of blood suckers and shifters and jumped right in.

I didn’t know my jumping in would land me on a trip through the sewers of London. Not that any sewers anywhere else would have been more preferable. I’ve done a pretty fair job of avoiding sewers thus far in my life.

So, this had vamps and things based on tarot cards (pretty damn smart right there), an incubus, faeries, werewolves, unicorns, spectral whatsits in a haunted wood, a tentacle monster, icky pustuled sewer monsters, mages, and…I lost count.

Lots and lots and lots of things that go bump in the night that will keep me awake for daaaayz.

But also, as I said above, this had me laughing my ass off. I lost count of how many times, but definitely more often than Kate contemplated her impending death:

“Here lies Kate Kane. Died of leptospirosis after swimming in a river of poo. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed.”

I’m adding this to my What the Fuck Did I Just Read shelf because of that and because of this:

“Bloodsucking poo monster. It’s no biggie.”

and this

”Because I really need to take a bath and sacrifice a goat so I don’t get hepatitis.”

I truly don’t read enough paranormal to speak with any sort of authority on the matter. I don’t know about the shoulds and should nots, or if there even are any. I think if the story manages to scare the bejeezus out of me it’s done its job. I’m pretty easily scared though, so what do I know? For me, there was not one thing predictable. My eyes were frequently bugged out. I was frequently grossed out. I read with my knees tucked up and my arms tucked in to make myself small so the scaries couldn’t find me. Most importantly, I was thoroughly engaged in the story while freaked out of my mind.

The humor was thoroughly British and brilliantly dry and self-deprecating. I’m also depraved and common enough to find toilet humor hilarious. It was all the kind of comedy that always amuses me.

As far as romance goes…I dunno. We didn’t seem to spend a lot of time with that. There were certainly some sexy parts that I liked. A lot. (And a confession: I’m relatively certain this was my first F/F book…so yay me. Not sure what took me so long.). I kind of wanted more, to dig a little deeper in that (mind out of the sewers, folks—pun not intended. Okay, maybe a little intended.). What was there was done well, considering Kate’s history as kind of a slut, I think. (Girl after my own heart.) I got the attraction. I wanted them together. Just…I think I needed just a little more feels and intimacy in that regard.

Overall, I really liked this and am moving right on to book two in the series.

This review also posted on GoodReads.